I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
