maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
