My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
