Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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