But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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