He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
