He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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