Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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