I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
