You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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