how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
