Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
