its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
