Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Still dying that you shit outside
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
