How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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