Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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