I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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