O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
