Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
