Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
