Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
