Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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