question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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