You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
