I smell stomach acid.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
