hell yes lets make some ravioli
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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