Me too!
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize