Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
