last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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