Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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