you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Randomize