im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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