Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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