I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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