Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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