So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
