All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
