Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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