I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
