How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
