sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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