k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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