last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
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I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
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Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.