god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
