This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
