is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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