She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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