bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
