Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
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Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
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American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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