If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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