I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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