Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Are we still banned from the library?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
