Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
