OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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