You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
