you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
