we have pet lesbian snakes
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
